The one about expectations

What causes unhappiness in our lives?

I would suggest that one of the main causes of unhappiness is expectations, and in particular, unmet expectations.

A year ago, I booked a glorious beach-front chalet for a vacation getaway. By all objective factors, it was a beautiful place — palm trees, blue waters, private white-sand beach.

The only issue was that there was a public volleyball net in front of my chalet accessible by all hotel guests.

What is this? This is not what I expected.

The whole ordeal caused a lot of angst, stress and unhappiness for what was supposed to be a relaxing getaway.

Have you ever booked a night at a hotel only to realize that it was nothing like the photos?

Or eaten at a restaurant expected to be “the best in the city” only to realize that it was just ok?

Or met someone in person only to realize that they look nothing like their online profile photo?

These are all examples of expectations gone unmet.

So what is the solution here?

One approach could be to have no expectations at all. That is a bit extreme.

The other approach (and arguably, the harder approach) is to have some expectations but be fully open to what happens. This is where the oft-used phrase “live in the moment” comes up.

I find that my most memorable experiences are unplanned, unexpected moments.

These are moments where I go off-the-beaten-track to explore a new neighbourhood, spark a conversation with a stranger at a coffee shop or follow my gut instinct to try something new.

Maybe things will work out. Maybe they won’t.

But that’s ok.