The one about winter
Today is the darkest day of the year — the winter solstice. In the past, I would sleep in, wake up in a frenzy and rush out to work. There never seemed to be enough time to do anything — the days blended into weeks. And weeks into months. And months into years.
But here I am. 6:09 in the morning. Coffee in hand, baby monitor on standby, and music playing in the background. Things have changed a lot since those years.
We are reaching the final days of 2022. This has been one of the most challenging years of my life. Yet it has been one of the best years of my life.
I felt sorrow when my dad passed away this year. Yet I felt love when friends and family reached out in support.
I felt hopeless when my daughter had a hard time sleeping on her own. Yet I felt joy when she first looked me in the eyes and called me baba.
I felt lost navigating the ins-and-outs of a new job. Yet I felt pride seeing the fruits of my labour when our company launched in Canada.
I felt disappointed when I finished the BMO half-marathon at 2:05, my slowest time ever. Yet I felt ecstatic when I finished the UBC half-marathon a few months later at 1:53, my fastest time ever.
I felt overwhelmed trying to balance the demands of work, life and family. Yet I felt at peace seeing all the pieces come together and knowing that things will work out in the end.
I felt nervous when I stepped in as president of the Federation of Asian Canadian Lawyers BC. Yet I felt confident speaking on stage at our largest annual gala in history and seeing the strength of our community in person.
I felt unheard when I spoke up against barriers to reporting anti-Asian hate crimes. Yet I felt recognized when I was named one of the top 25 most influential lawyers in Canada.
Finally, I felt unclear at the beginning of this year if I am heading in the right direction. Yet as I take this moment to reflect, I am feeling more and more clear that I am.
My inner voice has been my guiding compass through the ups and downs. It has led me through the best times and the worst times. It is as if there was a future version of myself laying down the breadcrumbs and guiding me all along. I feel more alive than ever and following my inner voice has made all the difference.
